As I finish up the last two weeks of my first year of teaching, I've sat here thinking about all that has gone down in room 206 since August. Some things are brilliant, wonderful, and exciting, while others...yikes. Hold on!
1. You have 3 kids of days. - 1) Really really good days 2) Really really bad days 3) So-so days
In my first year of teaching, my bad days really outweighed everything else. But. The Lord was faithful to pull me through those days and I've learned so much. The good days can be really encouraging - when everyone seems to actually be interested in the lesson and no one fights you on doing anything- they all sit there and talk pleasantly to you and their peers - those days are beautiful and you learn to treasure those days.
2. No matter how much time you put into making a lesson exciting, there will always be something that goes wrong or a kid who could care less. I'm learning to make quick decisions and fix the thing wronged or just plain ignore that kid who's life centers around making me miserable.
3. I was told once and I'll never forget it - "Not all your kids are going to be believers, so stop expecting them to act like one." Wow.
4. You should always pack a few extra snacks or packs of crackers, that way when your kids come to you hungry, you've got a simple solution! :)
5. High schoolers (well 9th and 10th graders) absolutely love Disney music. We are in the process of building popsicle stick bridges and on Friday as a treat, I brought in my Ipod and allowed them to listen to my Disney play list. All my students started singing together and it was just absolutely precious.
6. You have to be vulnerable to some extent. I've had great conversations with some of my kids about how saving sex until marriage is important or how dating random people just to date can leave a lot of baggage...stuff like that. It's been really cool to see how they've opened up to me and how I've opened up to them.
7. Teaching high schoolers is hard, very hard. I have never in my life had around 180 kids that I have felt so emotionally attached to. Some you love because they desperately just want to belong, so you love them to accept them and show them that SOMEONE cares. Some you love because you are honestly, the closest thing to a positive role model/parent that they have. Some you love because they are the ones that when you have a bad day, they seem to sense it and offer you encouragement with bible verses or hugs. All those kids - they're wonderful and for the most part this year, they've made up about 95% of my students. I have really been blessed beyond words.
The other 5% though can drive you so crazy that when things are rough, you honestly don't know if you can return to face another day. Those kids are the ones that you see them making mistakes and you know that it's going to affect their lives but no matter how much you try to lead them in the right direction, it won't matter because they just need to go down that path and make those mistakes in order for them to learn. Those are the heart breaking kids. I have never in my life been so frustrated with some of them because I SEE them ruining their lives. Yet, nothing I do to try and help matters. I just have to watch and let them go.
When people ask me what I've thought about teaching or how this year has gone, all I can think of is that it's been hard and different than I ever expected. It's hard to constantly be in situations where the kids' actions and yours have direct consequences. It's hard to get right back up and teach the next block when the previous one has gone horribly and all you want to do is cry. It's hard to have patience with certain kids day after day when all they've done is bullied you around. It's hard, extremely hard. I'm told that it'll all be worth it in about five or so years and to be honest, I don't know that I'll make it that long. All I know is what is currently in front of me - I've signed a contract which means I'll be back next year! After that, we'll see what happens! :)
**Happy birthday sweet Nora!**
-B
