1 year ago....

(My sister did a blog post like this with her first and I thought it was the coolest thing ever...so here you go!)
1 year ago this week, Grey was told that if his job in Greenville ended up croaking, he could have his current one back.
1 year ago today, I realized I was late.
1 year ago today, I told both the school book keeper and my mom that I was late and they BOTH tried to convince me that it was merely due to the stress with Grey's job.  Psh.
1 year ago today, I randomly stopped at a gas station to buy a test purely for peace of mind.
1 year ago today, I took the test when Grey wasn't home and prayed for peace whichever way.
1 year ago today, I got the SHOCK of my life when I saw two lines.
1 year ago today, Grey came home and I gently tried to explain what the pregnancy test meant.  He didn't believe me.
1 year ago today, Grey made me go out and buy 3 more tests.
1 year ago today, I took two more tests at night and both were positive. Grey still didn't believe me.
1 year ago TOMORROW, I took 1 more test in the morning and it was as clear as ever.  Grey finally believed me.

1 year ago today, I had NO idea what true sleep deprivation meant. (And once again, we have a great baby).
1 year ago today, I had no idea how hard pregnancy could be (and I had an easy one).
1 year ago today, I had no idea how hard labor could be (and I had a *relatively* easy time).

1 year ago today, I had no idea how I would struggle with motherhood - how I would become bitter at how sore my entire body was, how I would struggle with the awfulness of breast feeding, how I would learn what exhausted really meant.
1 year ago today, I had no idea that my diet would be affected, still to this day.  
1 year ago today, I had no idea how much guilt I would feel when it took a good couple of weeks to really feel connected with my baby.

1 year ago today, I had no idea how exhausting, how exciting, how frustrating, and how worthwhile having a baby would be. 
Is it worth it?  Absolutely yes. Will I do it again? NO! :) 
Is it the hardest thing you've ever done? Yes. Do I constantly doubt my decisions?  Yes.  Do Grey and I argue about the right way to do things?  Yes. 

Once again I ask, is it really worth it?  Yes. Yes. Yes. :)

James is 4 months old today!! I'll try and do a post on that later. :)